girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We don't watch enough power rangers
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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