awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
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Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
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STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is