I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
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she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.