Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS

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  (717): You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS http://tfl.nu/mc97
  Replies (40) Good night (9606) Bad night (878)
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  (858): View more from California

  I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.

  (619): View more from California

  you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS

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  (858): I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up. (619): you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS http://tfl.nu/a8ci
  Replies (22) Good night (6880) Bad night (1442)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.

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  (203): he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs. http://tfl.nu/tskr
  Replies (44) Good night (8456) Bad night (1300)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing

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  (203): And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing http://tfl.nu/3kjo
  Replies (18) Good night (4034) Bad night (1020)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would

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  (513): If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would http://tfl.nu/dfsx
  Replies (7) Good night (3667) Bad night (1093)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop

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  (217): Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop http://tfl.nu/m1fy
  Replies (13) Good night (6845) Bad night (1698)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...

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  (978): FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong... http://tfl.nu/4k47
  Replies (7) Good night (4077) Bad night (1035)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.

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  (202): I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other. http://tfl.nu/g6xu
  Replies (24) Good night (4773) Bad night (1159)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.

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  (814): you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door. http://tfl.nu/6ofj
  Replies (19) Good night (6557) Bad night (1156)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer

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  (724): you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer http://tfl.nu/1l7a
  Replies (4) Good night (2260) Bad night (635)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language

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  (580): My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language http://tfl.nu/nvb4
  Replies (4) Good night (1829) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.

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  (772): When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny. http://tfl.nu/z1it
  Replies (14) Good night (772) Bad night (2330)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.

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  (360): Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student. http://tfl.nu/vc6z
  Replies (1) Good night (765) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge

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  (907): Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge http://tfl.nu/scnb
  Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.

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  (707): Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man. http://tfl.nu/1s6b
  Replies (0) Good night (549) Bad night (229)

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