he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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