This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
