I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
