i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize