moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize