i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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