SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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