I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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