no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
they're like a gay fantastic four
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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