I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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