2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
