Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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