Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?