My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
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All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
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I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...