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• (949): View more from California

  Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.

  Fav 19 3910 1135

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (714): View more from California

  he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick

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• (347): View more from New York

  The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?

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