Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap