you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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