he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
