i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize