Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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