So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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