I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
