You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
