WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
