My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
