Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
