Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
