I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
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if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
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She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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