we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
