you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
