butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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