Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
