ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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