Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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