i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
