When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
