theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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