just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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