I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
