8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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