I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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