if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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