Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize