What did we do last night that was yellow?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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