Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
