the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
