Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
