At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think my moral compass just broke
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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