You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Porn is love you can see.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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