Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Alive.
So much puke
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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