Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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