if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Hippo gnu deer
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
