is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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