and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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