I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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