We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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