It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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