I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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